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When You're Clinically Depressed, LIfe Becomes a Paradox

6/26/2020

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Depression is an asshole. There, I said it. Thank you for your time.

Okay, so maybe this isn’t a profound statement. Anybody who has ever been afflicted by or close to somebody with depression knows that it’s awful and can ruin your life. And not just because it makes you sad sometimes or forces you to cry in the bathroom at work for no reason or fastens you into the same set of pajamas for three days straight. Depression is an asshole because it is inherently contradictory. This is the foundation for my theory of The Depression Paradoxes.

Paradox 1: You’re Numb Despite “Having It All”

Clinical depression has no rhyme or reason to it. Unlike grief or situational depression, which can be linked to a single problem or event, clinical depression often pops right out the blue clear sky. As a result, things can often be going pretty well for you but, out of nowhere, you start to feel absolutely miserable. For someone with depression, this can be even worse than your entire life falling apart, because then at least you would have an explanation for your sadness. Not having a “reason” to be upset about something makes the voices in your head that much more cutting. “You just got a promotion, you ungrateful jerk! Why are you blubbering in the shower?” or “You’re on a yacht in the middle of Caribbean, sipping champagne with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and you can’t smile for one. friggin. second?!” (Anybody else have that fantasy? Just me?)

So hopefully this explanation makes it easy to understand why a common piece of advice spewed by everyone ranging from Instagram yogis to Dr. Phil doesn’t often work for people living with depression. You can hear a choir of soothing New Age-y voices crooning it now: Practice Gratitude. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for not being a greedy prick and being thankful for what you have. And gratitude is an amazing and powerful tool for those not in the middle of a depressive episode. But for someone agonizing in their own personal hell for no reason other than shitty neurotransmission, counting blessings can be a rough reminder of the fact that they are still suffering despite all they have been given. Even more, for someone with the messed-up thought patterns characteristic of mental health disorders, this can quickly feed into the cycle of negative self-talk and depression.

Paradox 2: Exercise Is Supposed To Make You Happy, But You Can’t Even Get Out Of Bed

I, like many of my fellow mental health warriors, have googled the phrase “how to fight depression” or some variation of that more times than Kanye West has googled “Kanye West.” (Mom, if you’re reading this, that’s a lot of times.) What pops up are several different blog posts listing the same strategies tested by time and scientific evidence: exercising, eating well, socializing, and looking on the sunny side of life! And, of course, all of those things are wonderful suggestions for people with or without a mental health disorder.

However, to quote Carrie Underwood, “There’s just one little problem…” Depression makes those things pretty much impossible, especially when you’re knee-deep in self-doubt, fatigue, and crying spells.

Before you yell at me, I am a lifelong student of the sciences, with degrees in Nutritional Sciences and Physical Therapy. I am a big proponent of healthy living, both mentally and physically. Professionally, I have seen the positive impact of appropriate exercise, solid nutrition, and social interaction on people with mental and physical disorders. Personally, however, I have seen just how difficult it is to follow this advice when you can barely get out of bed in the morning. I, a physical therapist and normally an avid exerciser, had an entire three (okay, six) month span where I did not exercise a single minute. I used all of my social, physical, and mental energy just getting myself to, through, and from work. By the time I got home, I could barely keep it together enough to binge on Triscuits and The Office before crying myself to sleep at the thought of waking up and having to do it all over again. And what made it even worse was knowing that I should be exercising, I should be meeting up with friends, I should eat a goddamn vegetable once in a while. (Translation in my brain: I am definitely a waste of a human and probably do not deserve be living on this planet anymore.)
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Don’t get it twisted—it is not my intention for these paradoxes to function as excuses or reasons not to engage in methods proven for battling depression. It’s just that these practices require two things that are often lacking in the depressed mind: energy and motivation. The point of this is to 1) explain why depression is a total jerk and 2) provide compassion and understanding of how depression operates for those coping with the disease as well as those living on the outside trying to empathize.

It is only by identifying and demystifying these paradoxes that we can begin to address and modify our treatment strategies to make room for hope and healing in the depressed mind.

Note: This post was originally published at ThoughtCatalog.com, with some modifications.  See the original post here.
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How to Stay Informed Without Sabotaging Your Mental Health

6/10/2020

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The world feels crazy right now.  Between a global pandemic, worldwide protests, and murder hornets (seriously, wtf?!), the first half of 2020 has proven to be a rough one.  It’s important to stay informed, but sometimes the news can make us feel anxious, hopeless, and afraid for the future.  However, sticking our heads in the sand and ignoring all news can make us feel even more anxious because we don’t know what’s happening around us.  Here are some tips to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed.
  • Sign up for a daily news e-mail  
    I’m personally a fan of The Skimm, which sends an e-mail newsletter to my inbox Monday through Friday summing up the big news from around the globe.  I love that they include not only what’s happening but what supporters and critics say about it.  Plus, they always end the e-mail with something to put a smile on my face, like yesterday’s video of a coyote playing golf. 

  • Turn off commentary and opinion 
    Thanks to 24-hour news networks like MSNBC and Fox News, a majority of “news” is just one person’s opinion about what’s happening.  This prevents you from forming your own opinions and can drown out the actual facts of the situation.  Instead, turn off the tv pick up a newspaper (or log onto their website), where the top of the article will make it clear if it’s an opinion piece.

  • Avoid the comment section
    Speaking of opinion, everyone’s got one in the comment section of an article.  Scrolling through uninformed and often heated opinions can turn your anxiety up high without providing any real information or value.  Do yourself a favor and skip the comment section – your blood pressure will thank you.

  • Purge your notifications
    In 2019, the average US smartphone received 46 notifications per day.  That’s a lot of apps vying for your attention and interrupting your daily life.  News apps in particular can cause stress if you’re not prepared to process the information you receive at that moment.  Do yourself a favor and edit your notifications to only include apps that deliver crucial, time-sensitive information like phone calls, messages, and texts.

  • Take a detox day or two 
    Speaking of notifications, a study out of Carnegie Mellon University found that putting your phone on “do not disturb” mode for 24 hours resulted in improved concentration and reduced stress levels.  If you’re afraid of missing important calls, schedule your detox day for a weekend (to avoid work hours) and tell your loved ones you’re taking a day off and may take longer to get back to them. 

  • Look for the good news
    The human brain is wired to focus on the negative and our news sources do the same.  Remind yourself that there is still good in the world by visiting good news sources like Tanks Good News and The Good News Network.  Better yet, set one of these sites as your home page so you can see the good before being flooded with the bad.

  • DO SOMETHING
    The news often makes us feel hopeless because things seem so bad that we couldn’t possibly make a difference.  This is completely false! There is always something you can do to help such as donating, protesting, or having conversations with family and friends.  Once I started speaking up for the Black Lives Matter movement, I immediately felt less overwhelmed because I was helping create change. 
    P.S. If you’re white and don’t know where to start in this movement, check out this article from Medium. 
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Now more than ever, it’s important we stay informed and aware of the world around us.  However, nothing is worth sacrificing our mental health over.  By taking these steps to filter out less-than-newsworthy information, you’ll improve your knowledge of the facts while protecting your energy and your sanity.  And couldn’t the world use a little more sanity right now?

P.S. Still feeling overwhelmed? Start with your thoughts! Learn more about my 21-Day Negative Thought Detox here.
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3 Ways Non-Black Allies can Support Black Mental Health

6/4/2020

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Black lives matter. Black bodies matter.  That means black mental health has to matter, too.
 
Black people in America are disproportionately affected by mental health issues and poor access to psychological treatment.  Research shows that historical adversity such as slavery, sharecropping, racial violence, and race-based exclusion from social services (think healthcare and education) results in a lower socioeconomic status.  Low socioeconomic status, as I also discussed in this post, increases the risk for poor mental health.  Put this on top of centuries of racial oppression and inequality and you have a perfect storm for a mental health crisis.
 
Current protests, while necessary, can also leave our black brothers feeling more anxious, hopeless, and on edge.  As a result, black mental health is as an important as ever.  Here are some ways non-BIPOC allies can help:
 
  • Educate Yourself: It is not the responsibility of black people to educate others on the racial injustice and inequality in America.  Instead, it is your responsibility to educate yourself.  Search out books, articles, and documentaries on the subject.  This article is a great place to start.   
 
  • Donate to organizations that support black mental health: Unfortunately, a majority of mental health charities are still led by and focused on white mental health.  Here are some organizations that specifically focus on the mental health of the black community:

    • Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation: provides free virtual therapy for black people of low socioeconomic status
    • The Loveland Foundation: their therapy fund provides free therapy sessions for black women and girls
    • The Siwe Project: promotes mental health awareness throughout the global black community to encourage more people to seek treatment
    • Ourselves Black: strives to provide relevant, current, engaging mental health content and stories specifically routed in communities of color
    • Therapy for Black Girls: aims to grow and sustain an engaged community focused on the mental health needs of black women and girls
  • Have Tough Conversations: Educate your friends and family about racial injustice in person and online.  Discuss the increased risk of and barriers to treatment for mental health disorders in the black community.  Encourage your friend and family to speak up and support black mental health causes.  The world will never change without difficult dialogue.
 
Obviously, this is a less-than exhaustive list - but it’s a start.  I encourage you to share your own resources in the comments below so we can all support this cause.  Together, and only together, can we help improve the lives and mental health of the black community in America. 
 
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Let's Change The Way We talk about people with depression

4/30/2020

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She is depressed.  He has depression.  They are suffering from clinical depression.
 
What do all of these phrases have in common?
 
They put the depression on the person.  They say that the essence of a person is their depression.  That every single iota of their being is marked by a mental illness.  That all they are and all they know is sadness.
 
In reality, depression is an illness, a disease.  It is only a small part of somebody’s wholeness.  Depression does not define them and does not make them weak, much like having cancer does not make somebody made of cancer or spiritually weakened by cancer.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  Living with a mental illness - and choosing to continue to live every single day in the face of that mental illness - makes a person powerful beyond measure.  And if that person is willing to open up about their depression? That reflects an incalculable amount of strength, considering the world around them is full of people pretending to have a life that is 100% perfect (just scroll through Instagram once in a while and you’ll see what I’m talking about).
 
So let’s change the way we talk about depression to reflect the sheer amount of strength it takes to live with a mental health disorder.  Instead of saying you are depression, say:
 
You are a depression survivor.
 
You are not depression itself.  Depression does not own you or your soul.  Instead, you own depression, to the point that you continue to live a life that, often times, feels excruciatingly painful.
 
What makes you a survivor?  The choice you make every single day to continue living, to continue trying, even if you do not feel like doing so. 
 
In 2016, according to the CDC, 45,000 people tragically died by suicide, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.  As one would suspect, a majority of people who complete suicide have been touched by depression in some way (60%, to be exact, according to the US HHS). The fact that you 1) have a disorder that makes you 25 TIMES MORE LIKELY to complete a suicide (Source: American Association of Suicidology) and 2) choose to continue living in spite of that risk, makes you badass beyond words. 
 
That makes you strong.  That makes you powerful.  And that, my friend, makes you a depression survivor.
 

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