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How to Enjoy your "Good" Days - Without Paying For it Later

6/22/2020

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Can you relate to this scenario?

You wake up - and you feel pretty good! You’re excited because you finally have energy to do all the things you’ve been too depressed to do (yay!) and decide to get stuff done, son.

Flash forward a few hours later and you’ve run errands, answered client emails, done laundry, cleaned the house, paid bills, caught up with friends and family….and you’re absolutely wrecked.  You’ve exhausted yourself so much that you didn’t even get to enjoy your day.  Heck, you can’t even enjoy the rest of the week because you burned yourself out so much!  Sound familiar?


Unfortunately, I hear about this cycle all too often.  I’ve even lived it myself!  For some of my clients (at least until they met me!) it got so bad that they started to dread their good days because they knew they would have to pay for them later down the road.  

The good news? You don’t have to live like that! 

So what can you do to enjoy the hell out of your good days while preserving your mood and energy for the days ahead? Read on to learn more!
​
  • Don’t worry about getting everything done in one day:
    It may feel like it, but this won’t be your only good day!  Consider this your official permission to not get every single thing done.  Pick a couple of priority tasks and allow yourself to stop if you start running out of steam.  Remember - the more you guard your energy, the more you’ll have left over for another day!

  • Include things that recharge your energy:
    It’s tempting to want to tackle your entire to-do list on days when you’re feeling your best.  However, running from task to task without taking some time for yourself is a recipe for burnout.  Including a few things that recharge your batteries (think: meditation, a brisk walk, journaling, etc.) will help space out your tasks and prevent an energy crash at the end of the day.

  • Check in with yourself throughout the day:
    Sometimes we can get so distracted by what we’re doing that we forget to check in with ourselves and our energy levels!  An easy way to do this is to rate your energy level on scale of 1 (I need a friggin' nap) to 10 (I’m bouncing off the walls!).  When your energy dips below a 5, it’s time to take a break and recharge before moving on to the next thing.

  • Outsource, outsource, outsource:
    Here’s another reality check - not everything on your to-do list has to be done by you!  Consider hiring others to do the tasks you dread or that really drain your energy.  Protecting your mental health is a top priority - if you have to spend a little bit of money to make that happen, then it’s money well spent!  (Tip: a great resource for this is TaskRabbit - you can hire someone to do almost anything!)

  • Don’t forget about your thoughts:
    Repetitive, negative thoughts drain your energy.  While you’re focused on getting things done, don’t forget to tune into your inner voice.  Is she being nice to you and supporting your goals today? Or is she beating you up for not getting more done?  If it’s the latter, it’s time to start keeping those thoughts in check! (Psst - my upcoming 21-Day Negative Thought Detox helps you do just that - in less than 20 minutes per day! Sign up for the waitlist here.)

It’s important to enjoy the hell out of your good days! Incorporating the above strategies will allow you to do just that, while leaving some energy left over for you to enjoy tomorrow too!

How do you make sure you don't burn yourself out? Let us know in the comments below!
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What To Do When Depression Has you Stuck in Bed

6/15/2020

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Depression can majorly screw with your sleep patterns and energy levels (for more info, check out this and this blog post).  For my clients, this often shows up as difficulty getting up and out of bed in the morning.  I find that most of my clients fall into at least one of the following three categories:

  1. They’re tossing and turning until the wee hours of the morning.  By the time that alarm clock goes off, they’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep!
  2. They’re dreading their day, whether it’s going to a job they hate or dealing with another day of emotional pain.
  3. They wake up feeling depressed and lack the motivation to get out of bed.

In all three of these scenarios, depression is messing with their energy levels - but in completely different ways!

Regardless of what’s keeping you in bed, the following tried-and-true strategies will get you feeling better and up and at ‘em in no time!

[Click here to watch my video - 3 TIPS TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF BED WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED]

  • Step 1: Let go of the guilt (and the shoulds!)
    Feeling guilty for staying in bed is going to make you stay in bed even longer.  Here’s why: Negative thoughts and feelings, like guilt, drain our energy by taking up our attention and our brain power.  Thoughts like “I should be doing so much more right now” aren’t constructive because they make us feel crappy and guilty.  And when we feel crappy and guilty, we have less energy and self-confidence to take action.  This is why I always say guilt is a useless emotion.

  • Step 2: Interrupt the negative thought cycle by clearing your mind
    So you know guilty thoughts don’t do anything for you - but how do you turn them off?  The best and quickest way to change your thoughts is to first create space in your brain for new possibilities.  This is done by doing anything that gets you out of your head - pleasure reading, going for a walk, taking a shower, etc.  My favorite way, however, is with breath work because it’s easy and you can do it even if you can’t get up quite yet.  Check out this video of my favorite breathwork technique here.

  • Step 3: Try some pump-up jams 
    It’s tempting to want to listen to sad songs when you’re feeling depressed.  While sad songs can be comforting, happy, upbeat songs can boost your mood and energy levels even if you listen to them from your bed.  Check out my Uplifter playlist on Spotify here that includes all the songs you need to get you moving in the morning. (Psst...I highly recommend starting with “Bad Girls” by Donna Summer!)

  • ​Step 4: Narrate your steps
    If the above tips didn’t work for you - don’t worry! Not everything will work on the first try.  Narrating my steps is a technique I came up with when I was having a really hard time getting out of bed during the worst depressive episode of my life in 2017.  Essentially, narrating your steps is talking yourself through each and every step required to complete a task.  In the get out of bed example, I would say the following out loud to myself:
    • “Okay Julia, take the covers down.” Once I’m able to do that, I move onto the next step.
    • “Now, swing your legs off the bed.” And I wait until I can.
    • “Okay, now sit up.” And then…
    • "Alright, Julia, now stand up.” And I take all the time I need to stand.
      By breaking the task down into smaller steps, it makes getting up out of bed much more doable.  Plus, saying the steps out loud makes your brain pay more attention because it engages multiple senses.

  • Step 5: Reach out to a loved one
    It’s important that we try some strategies on our own before immediately reaching out to others.  Why?  Because it cultivates self-reliance and a feeling of self-esteem when you’re able to do it yourself.  Also, sometimes our loved ones don’t know what to say and can accidentally say things to us that make us feel worse or make it even harder to get out of bed.  That being said, if you’ve been unsuccessful with the above strategies, it may be beneficial to reach out to someone you trust who can give you a different perspective.  Tip: When you reach out, be sure to tell that person what you need so they can best support you!

What to do if you still can’t get out of bed:
Say you tried all of the above strategies but you still can’t get out of bed - now what?

I am about to say something that most mental health coaches will never say:

If you try and try and try and still can’t get out of bed - then stay in bed.

There is nothing wrong about being in bed.  You’re not hurting yourself or anyone else.  You’re not “behind” or “lazy” or “gross” any of the other awful things you could come up with to say about yourself.

You’re in bed because your mind and body need you to be.  You may need extra rest, you may need to be away from stimulation, you may need to feel comforted in your favorite sheets.  Whatever the need, the best thing you can do for yourself is honor that need, without self-judgment.  As long as you come from a place of self love and compassion, your body and mind will get up when they’re ready.  There’s no need to put pressure on healing.

If this is something you’re struggling with - don’t go alone!  I am now offering FREE 45 minute discovery sessions to a limited number of new clients!  Book yours here.

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    Exercising to Beat Fatigue - Here's what You Need to Know

    6/2/2020

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    We all know exercise is good for us, especially for those of us living with depression.  Study after study after study has shown the mood-boosting and anti-depressive effects of exercise.  But what about using exercise for another purpose – boosting energy and beating fatigue?
     
    For many, exercise as an energy-booster seems counterintuitive.  After all, exercise actually requires energy (in the form of calories) and too much exercise can leave us drained and exhausted (more on that later).  First, let’s take a look at how exercise can improve overall energy, both in the short-term and the long-term.

    • Increased neurotransmitter production 
      Neurotransmitters are molecules that send signals between brain cells and include substances like dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin.  Exercise increases the production of neurotransmitters in the brain, leading to effects like improved mood, increased energy, and reduced stress.
     
    • Increased blood flow to the brain 
      Exercise increases your heart rate, which increases the amount of blood that’s pumped all over your body, including your brain.  Greater blood flow means more oxygen to the brain, improving your concentration, focus, and energy.
      (Fun fact: Yawning is another way your body tries to increase oxygen to the brain when you’re tired!)
     
    • Improved ability to sleep
      People with depression have a screwed-up relationship with sleep, so anything that can help us get some extra Zs is crucial.  Experts don’t know exactly how exercise helps us get more sleep, but we know it can increase the slow-wave, or deep sleep we get at night.
      (P.S. If you haven’t already, click here to pick up my FREE Sleep Kit for women entrepreneurs with depression – you won’t be disappointed!)
     
    • Increased stamina over time 
      Regular exercise increases the efficiency of your body, so it uses less resources and energy for the same activities over time.  This allows you to perform your daily activities with less fatigue and more overall energy.
     
    However, getting enough exercise when you have depression can be difficult because of fatigue and low energy. 
     
    The good news? You don’t have to get that much to see an energy bump!
     
    Research shows that a brisk, 10 to 15-minute walk is actually the most effective form of exercise to see an immediate, significant boost in energy.  Longer and higher-intensity workouts can also build energy over time but may tire you out initially because you worked so hard. 
     
    My best advice? Start with short, low intensity workouts (think a 5-minute walk around the block), and slowly build up over time to avoid injury and fatigue.  Having trouble getting started? Click here to book a free discovery session with me and let's get it done together!
     
    What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to energy and exercise? Let me know in the comments!

    Note: I research all of my blog posts extensively and provide only scientifically backed information.  Please e-mail here if you find any errors or discrepancies in this post and I will be sure to make any warranted changes.  Thank you!

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      10 Proven Caffeine-Free Energy Boosts

      5/26/2020

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      We’ve all been there.  It’s 3 PM, you have one more project before you can wrap up the day, but you’re exhausted.  You want to grab a cup of coffee, but you know you’ll either crash super hard or be up all night drinking caffeine this late.  Now what?!
       
      Everybody struggles with low energy from time to time, but it can hit those of us living with depression especially hard.  Between our screwed-up sleep patterns, negative thought loops, and ever-changing moods, we may be more likely to reach for a mid-day energy boost than most. 

      Instead of reaching for that caffeinated energy drink that will make you crash and leave you even more irritable, try some of these natural, scientifically proven energy boosters:

      • Exercise:
        • How it works: Exercise increases blood and oxygen flow to the brain, boosting brainpower and overall energy levels.  Plus, exercise can increase production of endorphins, which are overall feel-good hormones.
        • Try this:  Take a 10-minute walk around your neighborhood, aiming to moderately increase your heart and breathing rate.

      • Breathwork
        • How it works: Like exercise, breathwork increases the oxygen flow into the brain, increasing energy and clarity of thought.
        • Try this: My 2-minute diaphragmatic breathing video

      • Sunlight
        • How it works: Sunlight improves your sleep/wake cycle and boosts vitamin D production, which can improve muscle function, mood, and energy. (Source) 
        • Try this: Stand or sit outside in the sun for 15 to 20 minutes.  New research shows that the sunlight is most effective when it comes in through your eyes, so keep those sunglasses off! 

      • Meditation 
        • How it works: Mindfulness focuses your mind on one talk, stopping the repetitive, negative thoughts that can keep us drained and unmotivated.  Pairing meditation with yoga can double the effects by increasing endorphins and oxygen flow to the brain. (Source)
        • Try this: This awesome 30 minute law of attraction meditation to help you focus in on your goals.
      • Music
        • How it works: Your favorite pump-up music can stimulate your brain and improve your mood, making you feel more energetic.  Plus, it can motivate you to dance and move, which increases that oxygen to the brain.
        • Try this: My Uplifter playlist on Spotify!  

      • Eat
        • How it works: Food is the source of energy for all humans.  Choosing a snack with a low glycemic index (aka foods low in refined sugars or carbohydrates) can improve your energy without the sugar crash an hour later.
        • Try this: Put down the chips and soda and try a snack like nuts, eggs, veggies, or meat. 

      • Essential Oils
        • How it works: Some essential oils, including lemon, rosemary, spearmint, peppermint, and sweet orange, have been shown to reduce fatigue, boost brain power and focus, and improve your mood.
        • Try this: Put a drop or two of an essential oil on your palm.  Rub your hands together quickly for 5 seconds, then cup your hands over your nose and breathe for 30 seconds.

      • Good Posture
        • How it works: Your posture affects your mood, thoughts, and emotions.  Standing up straight conveys to ourselves and others that we are confident and energetic. (Source)
        • Try this: Take a break and stand with your back against a wall.  Try to stand up tall so the back of your head, mid-back, and tailbone touch the wall.  Stay here for 1 minute then try to maintain this posture once you go back to work!

      • Power Naps
        • How it works: A quick, 20-minute nap has been shown to boost alertness and physical performance.  It can also reduce irritability and improve your mood. (Source)
        • Try this: Lie down in a dark room without any interruptions.  Aim for 20 minutes if you’re looking to improve your attention and 90 minutes if you need help with problem solving.  Be sure to set an alarm so you don’t oversleep!

      • Laugh
        • How it works: Just like exercise, laughter releases endorphins which boost our energy and mood.
        • Try this: Watch one or two funny videos.  Be sure to set a timer so you don’t find yourself in a YouTube rabbit hole.  Don’t know where to start? Watch this.

      What are your favorite energy boosters? Let me know in the comments!

      Note: I research all of my blog posts extensively and provide only scientifically backed information.  Please e-mail here if you find any errors or discrepancies in this post and I will be sure to make any warranted changes.  Thank you!

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        Are Negative Thoughts Draining Your Energy?

        5/19/2020

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        When you’re feeling tired, you often hear the same advice: drink more water, get some exercise, work on your sleep - all of which are great suggestions. 

        ​But what if what’s draining you isn’t happening in your body, but in your mind? 

        Especially when you live with depression, the content of our thoughts can dictate how we feel about ourselves, how we view the world, and what action we take in our lives and in our businesses.  Read on to learn how our thoughts affect our energy levels and how you can break out of the negative thought cycle for greater focus and drive during the workday.
         
        How the Depressed Mind Thinks
         
        The depressed thinks a little differently than the non-depressed mind. 
         
        First of all, people with depression tend to overthink; a process called depressive rumination. Rumination can look like dwelling on problems without a solution, getting stuck on why you’re feeling depressed, or repeatedly looking back on your mistakes and beating yourself up for them.  The problem with rumination is that it can trap you in a repetitive chain of negative “why me?!” thinking that doesn’t provide you any relief. (Source: Aeon.co)
         
        Secondly, the depressed mind tends to gravitate towards an absolutist or “all-or-nothing” way of thinking.  Simply put, these are black-and-white thoughts that contain extreme words like ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘everybody,’ or ‘nobody’ and can sound like:

        “I will never be successful running my own business”
        “Nobody loves me.” 
        “Everybody has life figured out except me.”


        (Sound familiar?)
         
        Most people have thoughts like this from time to time but they can be more distressing for people with depression.  Why? Because (1) our thoughts tend to be more negative than people who do not have depression (Source: Psychology Today) and (2) we’re playing these thoughts on a loop.  I don't know about you, I’m exhausted already! 

        These Thoughts Can Drain Your Brain
         
        As you may imagine, repeating negative, all-or-nothing thoughts constantly can drain your energy during the day. 
         
        Think of thoughts like an app running in your mind.  If you keep the app running 24/7 with high-emotion, negative thoughts, it’s going to drain your battery - even if you do nothing else all day.  And this app can be sneaky – sometimes it can be running in the background and you don’t even know until your emotions or fatigue levels clue you in!
         
        The same goes for trying to fall asleep at night.  For many of us, the moment we lie down in bed is one of the few moments in the day when we’re not distracting ourselves.  This can open the floodgates of our mind, allowing in negative, obsessive thoughts that keep us tossing and turning all night – and exhausted the following day.
         
        What to Do About It
         
        If you notice that you can’t shut your brain off or your energy is plummeting for no reason, try the following:

        • Step 1: Give Your Mind a Break  
          Turning a negative thought into a positive one can be difficult to do right off the bat.  Instead, give your mind some space away from your thoughts so it can reset.  Try journaling, listening or dancing to a favorite song, pleasure reading, breathwork, or meditation.  The goal is for you to do something that feels easy to you so you can create a small opening in your mind for a different way of thinking.

        • Step 2: Notice the Stories You’re Telling Yourself 
          Once you have cleared your mind a little, notice your thoughts with self-compassion.  Don’t judge yourself for having negative thoughts, just pay attention to the stories you’re telling yourself.  Pro tip: Writing down your thoughts can get them out of your head and give you a little more perspective.

        • Step 3: Reframe Your Thoughts 
          Absolutist thinking is essentially fake news that we tell ourselves.  However, simply trying to turn a negative thought to a positive one will set off your brain’s bullshit meter so fast that the new positive belief may be rejected.  Instead, try to take a look at your thoughts and find a related statement that’s true.  For example, look at the statement “Nobody likes me.”  Which is more based in truth? That literally nobody in the world likes you?  Or is it more likely that you’re feeling alone and unloved?  (Considering even evil villains have sidekicks, I would guess it’s the latter!)
         
        Of course, this type of shift in thinking doesn’t happen overnight.  However, with the right practice and guidance, it can become second nature!
         
        How do you deal with your negative thoughts? Leave me a note in the comments!

        Note: I research all of my blog posts extensively and provide only scientifically backed information.  Please e-mail here if you find any errors or discrepancies in this post and I will be sure to make any warranted changes.  Thank you!

        Feeling overwhelmed and held back by negative thoughts? Introducing...

        The 21-Day Negative Thought Detox!

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          Depression Messes With Your Sleep - Here's How to Fight Back

          5/12/2020

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          If you read last week’s post, you know how depression majorly screws with our sleeping patterns.   Quality sleep is crucial for everyone but is especially important for business owners (and mega-especially important for business owners with mental illness).  High-quality sleep can keep fatigue at bay and make sure you have enough brainpower and energy to get things done.  Here’s how to get a good night’s sleep, even if mental illness has you tossing and turning.
           
          If you have trouble falling asleep at night:
          • Take a look at your sleeping routine - For your body to be able to fall asleep quickly, it needs two things: (1) a consistent sleep/wake cycle and (2) a familiar nightly wind-down routine. By sticking to the same bedtime and wake-up times every day (yes – even weekends!), your body and mind will be able to start anticipating sleep.  This, in combination with a regular wind-down routine such as meditating, reading, or journaling, will signal to your body that it is time to relax and prepare for sleep.
          • Set yourself up for sleep – A good night’s sleep is a 7+ hour affair – prepare yourself accordingly!  Darken the room completely or use an eye mask, use ear plugs or put on white noise if you’re a light sleeper, and choose a healthy, comfortable sleeping position.  (If you’re unsure what a healthy sleeping position looks like, download my sleep here for examples.)
          • Explore natural sleep-promoters – There are tons of natural substances that have been proven to be safe and effective sleep aids including:
            • Chamomile
              • Benefits: promotes sleep, relaxation, and digestion.  Plus, a 2016 study found that it may also be helpful for depression!
              • Forms: tea, capsule, tincture 
            • Lavender
              • Benefits: calming effects, pain reliever,
              • Forms: essential oil, tea
            • Melatonin
              • Benefits: increased speed and quality of sleep, immunity-booster. 
              • Forms: capsule
            • Cannabis
              • Benefits: both CBD and THC have anti-inflammatory and relaxation properties. 
              • Forms: edibles, flower (the whole plant), tinctures
          As always, be sure to check with a doctor or other healthcare professional before taking any supplements. (Source: Healthline)
           
          If you tend to wake up in the middle of the night:
          • Drink water, but not too closely to bedtime – It’s important to hydrate at nighttime to prevent midnight thirst pangs or muscle cramps from waking you up.  However, be sure to stop drinking water about an hour before bedtime and to use the bathroom right before bed to avoid any unwanted bathroom trips.
          • Stay calm – Freaking out that you can’t fall asleep will only keep you wired and awake for longer.  Try to let go of the goal of sleeping and focus on relaxing instead, a technique I call “sneaking yourself to sleep.”
          • Try mind-clearing techniques – My favorite is counting my breaths backwards from 100.  If I start screwing up the numbers, I know that I must be getting sleepy.
          • If you really can’t go back to sleep - If you’re tossing and turning for more than 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something that relaxes you.  Try drinking a cup of tea, reading something boring, or listening to soothing music until you feel tired again.
           
          What other sleep tips would you add to this list?  Leave a comment below!

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            How Depression Screws with Your Sleep

            5/5/2020

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            We all know sleep is important for energy, concentration, and motivation – especially when building a business. Unfortunately, quality sleep can sometimes be hit or miss for those of us living with depression. Sometimes we sleep too much, sometimes we sleep too little (or not at all), but a lot of the time, we're left tired and unenthusiastic about the day ahead of us. What's up with that?

            Turns out, a lot is up with it.  Not only does depression cause poor sleep, but poor sleep can worsen depressive symptoms.  Read on to discover how sleep and depression screw with each other (and be sure to check out my next post on Tuesday to find out what to do about it!)

            Depression’s Effect on Sleep
            As you’ve probably guessed (and experienced) by now, depression can really mess with sleeping patterns.  While it’s a bit of a chicken and the egg scenario in regard to which causes which, there are high correlations between depression and insomnia (inability to sleep) and depression and hypersomnia (sleeping too much). (Source: National Sleep Foundation)
             
            So why does depression make it so difficult for us to sleep normally?  While there are lots of physiological factors at play that are unique to each of us (think medications, medical history, genetics, etc.) here are a few common culprits:
            • Neurotransmitters: Depression is associated with changes in neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine which are also important for regulating energy levels, motivation, and sleep.
            • Fatigue: Daytime tiredness is a hallmark symptom of depression and, as you may guess, very interconnected with sleep.   Fatigue can cause us to sleep excessively during the day resulting in insomnia at bedtime.  However, if we push too hard through our fatigue without rest, our bodies may try to recuperate that energy by sleeping for hours and hours at night.
            • Night-time worrying: Negative thoughts are common in depression - and can seriously mess with sleep.  The most common type is absolutist or “all or nothing” thoughts which sound like: “I’ll never figure out QuickBooks” or “Nobody wants to hear what I have to say” or “Everyone else seems to have their businesses dialed in.” (Sound familiar?) These are the types of thoughts that drain your mental energy during the day and keep you awake at night resulting in – you guessed it! – crappy sleep. 
            • Searching for refuge: Your bed can be a comfortable, safe place that provides a retreat away from the world when you’re not feeling your best.  At the same time, sleep can be a temporary escape from painful or overwhelming situations and emotions.  While retreating to your bed can be a powerful coping strategy, it can result in excessive sleeping or napping, throwing off your sleep/wake cycle and make it more difficult to fall asleep at night.

            Sleep’s Effect on Mood
            Lack of sleep also has some profound effects on our health and our moods.  Some consequences of poor sleep include:
            • Increased stress levels
            • Decreased concentration, focus, and memory
            • Daytime sleepiness and brain fog
            • Irritability and moodiness
            • Decreased immunity
            All of which can interfere with our ability to stay focused, consistent, and motivated in our lives and businesses! (Source: NHS) 

            So now we know that sleep is super-duper important – not just for your mental health but for the healthy growth of your business – but what the heck can you do to get better sleep?  Find out in this blog post jam-packed with valuable healthy sleep tips! 

            ​And in the meantime, grab your copy of Sleep Tonight, Slay Tomorrow: The Ultimate Sleep Kit for Women Entrepreneurs with Depression below!

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