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What To Do When Depression Has you Stuck in Bed

6/15/2020

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Depression can majorly screw with your sleep patterns and energy levels (for more info, check out this and this blog post).  For my clients, this often shows up as difficulty getting up and out of bed in the morning.  I find that most of my clients fall into at least one of the following three categories:

  1. They’re tossing and turning until the wee hours of the morning.  By the time that alarm clock goes off, they’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep!
  2. They’re dreading their day, whether it’s going to a job they hate or dealing with another day of emotional pain.
  3. They wake up feeling depressed and lack the motivation to get out of bed.

In all three of these scenarios, depression is messing with their energy levels - but in completely different ways!

Regardless of what’s keeping you in bed, the following tried-and-true strategies will get you feeling better and up and at ‘em in no time!

[Click here to watch my video - 3 TIPS TO HELP YOU GET OUT OF BED WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED]

  • Step 1: Let go of the guilt (and the shoulds!)
    Feeling guilty for staying in bed is going to make you stay in bed even longer.  Here’s why: Negative thoughts and feelings, like guilt, drain our energy by taking up our attention and our brain power.  Thoughts like “I should be doing so much more right now” aren’t constructive because they make us feel crappy and guilty.  And when we feel crappy and guilty, we have less energy and self-confidence to take action.  This is why I always say guilt is a useless emotion.

  • Step 2: Interrupt the negative thought cycle by clearing your mind
    So you know guilty thoughts don’t do anything for you - but how do you turn them off?  The best and quickest way to change your thoughts is to first create space in your brain for new possibilities.  This is done by doing anything that gets you out of your head - pleasure reading, going for a walk, taking a shower, etc.  My favorite way, however, is with breath work because it’s easy and you can do it even if you can’t get up quite yet.  Check out this video of my favorite breathwork technique here.

  • Step 3: Try some pump-up jams 
    It’s tempting to want to listen to sad songs when you’re feeling depressed.  While sad songs can be comforting, happy, upbeat songs can boost your mood and energy levels even if you listen to them from your bed.  Check out my Uplifter playlist on Spotify here that includes all the songs you need to get you moving in the morning. (Psst...I highly recommend starting with “Bad Girls” by Donna Summer!)

  • ​Step 4: Narrate your steps
    If the above tips didn’t work for you - don’t worry! Not everything will work on the first try.  Narrating my steps is a technique I came up with when I was having a really hard time getting out of bed during the worst depressive episode of my life in 2017.  Essentially, narrating your steps is talking yourself through each and every step required to complete a task.  In the get out of bed example, I would say the following out loud to myself:
    • “Okay Julia, take the covers down.” Once I’m able to do that, I move onto the next step.
    • “Now, swing your legs off the bed.” And I wait until I can.
    • “Okay, now sit up.” And then…
    • "Alright, Julia, now stand up.” And I take all the time I need to stand.
      By breaking the task down into smaller steps, it makes getting up out of bed much more doable.  Plus, saying the steps out loud makes your brain pay more attention because it engages multiple senses.

  • Step 5: Reach out to a loved one
    It’s important that we try some strategies on our own before immediately reaching out to others.  Why?  Because it cultivates self-reliance and a feeling of self-esteem when you’re able to do it yourself.  Also, sometimes our loved ones don’t know what to say and can accidentally say things to us that make us feel worse or make it even harder to get out of bed.  That being said, if you’ve been unsuccessful with the above strategies, it may be beneficial to reach out to someone you trust who can give you a different perspective.  Tip: When you reach out, be sure to tell that person what you need so they can best support you!

What to do if you still can’t get out of bed:
Say you tried all of the above strategies but you still can’t get out of bed - now what?

I am about to say something that most mental health coaches will never say:

If you try and try and try and still can’t get out of bed - then stay in bed.

There is nothing wrong about being in bed.  You’re not hurting yourself or anyone else.  You’re not “behind” or “lazy” or “gross” any of the other awful things you could come up with to say about yourself.

You’re in bed because your mind and body need you to be.  You may need extra rest, you may need to be away from stimulation, you may need to feel comforted in your favorite sheets.  Whatever the need, the best thing you can do for yourself is honor that need, without self-judgment.  As long as you come from a place of self love and compassion, your body and mind will get up when they’re ready.  There’s no need to put pressure on healing.

If this is something you’re struggling with - don’t go alone!  I am now offering FREE 45 minute discovery sessions to a limited number of new clients!  Book yours here.

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    Depression Messes With Your Sleep - Here's How to Fight Back

    5/12/2020

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    If you read last week’s post, you know how depression majorly screws with our sleeping patterns.   Quality sleep is crucial for everyone but is especially important for business owners (and mega-especially important for business owners with mental illness).  High-quality sleep can keep fatigue at bay and make sure you have enough brainpower and energy to get things done.  Here’s how to get a good night’s sleep, even if mental illness has you tossing and turning.
     
    If you have trouble falling asleep at night:
    • Take a look at your sleeping routine - For your body to be able to fall asleep quickly, it needs two things: (1) a consistent sleep/wake cycle and (2) a familiar nightly wind-down routine. By sticking to the same bedtime and wake-up times every day (yes – even weekends!), your body and mind will be able to start anticipating sleep.  This, in combination with a regular wind-down routine such as meditating, reading, or journaling, will signal to your body that it is time to relax and prepare for sleep.
    • Set yourself up for sleep – A good night’s sleep is a 7+ hour affair – prepare yourself accordingly!  Darken the room completely or use an eye mask, use ear plugs or put on white noise if you’re a light sleeper, and choose a healthy, comfortable sleeping position.  (If you’re unsure what a healthy sleeping position looks like, download my sleep here for examples.)
    • Explore natural sleep-promoters – There are tons of natural substances that have been proven to be safe and effective sleep aids including:
      • Chamomile
        • Benefits: promotes sleep, relaxation, and digestion.  Plus, a 2016 study found that it may also be helpful for depression!
        • Forms: tea, capsule, tincture 
      • Lavender
        • Benefits: calming effects, pain reliever,
        • Forms: essential oil, tea
      • Melatonin
        • Benefits: increased speed and quality of sleep, immunity-booster. 
        • Forms: capsule
      • Cannabis
        • Benefits: both CBD and THC have anti-inflammatory and relaxation properties. 
        • Forms: edibles, flower (the whole plant), tinctures
    As always, be sure to check with a doctor or other healthcare professional before taking any supplements. (Source: Healthline)
     
    If you tend to wake up in the middle of the night:
    • Drink water, but not too closely to bedtime – It’s important to hydrate at nighttime to prevent midnight thirst pangs or muscle cramps from waking you up.  However, be sure to stop drinking water about an hour before bedtime and to use the bathroom right before bed to avoid any unwanted bathroom trips.
    • Stay calm – Freaking out that you can’t fall asleep will only keep you wired and awake for longer.  Try to let go of the goal of sleeping and focus on relaxing instead, a technique I call “sneaking yourself to sleep.”
    • Try mind-clearing techniques – My favorite is counting my breaths backwards from 100.  If I start screwing up the numbers, I know that I must be getting sleepy.
    • If you really can’t go back to sleep - If you’re tossing and turning for more than 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something that relaxes you.  Try drinking a cup of tea, reading something boring, or listening to soothing music until you feel tired again.
     
    What other sleep tips would you add to this list?  Leave a comment below!

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      How Depression Screws with Your Sleep

      5/5/2020

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      We all know sleep is important for energy, concentration, and motivation – especially when building a business. Unfortunately, quality sleep can sometimes be hit or miss for those of us living with depression. Sometimes we sleep too much, sometimes we sleep too little (or not at all), but a lot of the time, we're left tired and unenthusiastic about the day ahead of us. What's up with that?

      Turns out, a lot is up with it.  Not only does depression cause poor sleep, but poor sleep can worsen depressive symptoms.  Read on to discover how sleep and depression screw with each other (and be sure to check out my next post on Tuesday to find out what to do about it!)

      Depression’s Effect on Sleep
      As you’ve probably guessed (and experienced) by now, depression can really mess with sleeping patterns.  While it’s a bit of a chicken and the egg scenario in regard to which causes which, there are high correlations between depression and insomnia (inability to sleep) and depression and hypersomnia (sleeping too much). (Source: National Sleep Foundation)
       
      So why does depression make it so difficult for us to sleep normally?  While there are lots of physiological factors at play that are unique to each of us (think medications, medical history, genetics, etc.) here are a few common culprits:
      • Neurotransmitters: Depression is associated with changes in neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine which are also important for regulating energy levels, motivation, and sleep.
      • Fatigue: Daytime tiredness is a hallmark symptom of depression and, as you may guess, very interconnected with sleep.   Fatigue can cause us to sleep excessively during the day resulting in insomnia at bedtime.  However, if we push too hard through our fatigue without rest, our bodies may try to recuperate that energy by sleeping for hours and hours at night.
      • Night-time worrying: Negative thoughts are common in depression - and can seriously mess with sleep.  The most common type is absolutist or “all or nothing” thoughts which sound like: “I’ll never figure out QuickBooks” or “Nobody wants to hear what I have to say” or “Everyone else seems to have their businesses dialed in.” (Sound familiar?) These are the types of thoughts that drain your mental energy during the day and keep you awake at night resulting in – you guessed it! – crappy sleep. 
      • Searching for refuge: Your bed can be a comfortable, safe place that provides a retreat away from the world when you’re not feeling your best.  At the same time, sleep can be a temporary escape from painful or overwhelming situations and emotions.  While retreating to your bed can be a powerful coping strategy, it can result in excessive sleeping or napping, throwing off your sleep/wake cycle and make it more difficult to fall asleep at night.

      Sleep’s Effect on Mood
      Lack of sleep also has some profound effects on our health and our moods.  Some consequences of poor sleep include:
      • Increased stress levels
      • Decreased concentration, focus, and memory
      • Daytime sleepiness and brain fog
      • Irritability and moodiness
      • Decreased immunity
      All of which can interfere with our ability to stay focused, consistent, and motivated in our lives and businesses! (Source: NHS) 

      So now we know that sleep is super-duper important – not just for your mental health but for the healthy growth of your business – but what the heck can you do to get better sleep?  Find out in this blog post jam-packed with valuable healthy sleep tips! 

      ​And in the meantime, grab your copy of Sleep Tonight, Slay Tomorrow: The Ultimate Sleep Kit for Women Entrepreneurs with Depression below!

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